Running Diary - 20091228

20091228

10:35 – It's the Monday after X-Mas weekend.  A major decision concerning the GüeyesPuntoCom Fantasy Football League has been made.  Our trophy, as decreed in the new decree #487AKJ659 of the Güeyes Code stipulates that the Trophy shall carry a simple name and will hence forth be known as: La Copa del Güey.  Further more it has also been decreed in an annex to the new decree #487AKJ659 - Annex A of the Güeyes Code that the name of the final game shall be the most complex thing in the world resulting in: Most Extreme Panic Face Elimination Death Match! Güey.

I love my fantasy league.

 

17:05 – And I'm just writing this so that it doesn't stay with one entry for the day.

Feliz día de los Santos Inocentes.

 

20091229

08:44 – We made it.  Teh Morning Poo has managed to sneak into the final!

Most Extreme Panic Face Elimination Death Match! Güey V

Ciudad Vieja Los Cacos v. Teh Mexican Morning Poo

Who would have ever thought?  I sure as shit didn't.  I was happy reaching the playoffs.  Having said that I believe The Ballad of Teh Morning Poo is appropriate at the time:

♪ Long doth stand

In the days of yore.

It makes no sense what I just wrote

But I'll still write some more.

 

A young man named Poo

From the land of Mexico

Opened a door,

And the smell inside was let go.

 

The smell tackled to the left

And blocked to the right.

It ran to the end-zone

With all its mighty, mighty might.

 

As it stood triumphant

In it's porcelain goal

The Poo and the smell

Celebrated by the shoal.

 

"Long live the Poo," this morning

Was all that was heard.

And so the Mexican Morning Poo was born

And I have no idea what rhymes with "heard." ♫

 

10:24 – I have nothing more to say due to my excitement at reaching the final in our fantasy football league, but I figured I needed to add something more so I'm writing this line.

 

10:43 - ♪ I could stand to prove

 

If we can get around it,

I know that it's true

 

Well I've talked about it

Carried on

Reasons only knew

But it's you

I fell into ♫

 

12:26 – Managed to write a few more lines for the story.  Made a preliminary outline to help me stay motivated.  Changed a few many details to not be too egocentric about the story.  I feel that is going to help me focus on it a bit more and help the ideas to come out.

 

13:07 – Well, just finished organizing my Google Calendar by accounts and making sure that my work cal syncs with my work gmail instead of my everyday account.  No, I don't have much to do.

 

14:18 – So just when you think we're pulling our selves out of the shit here in Guatemala we fall way back in.

Yesterday I read in one of the local papers that Lindsay Lohan wants to plan a trip down here to perform aid work.  Now, by my accounts that can only mean blowjob technique classes to local prostitutes as well as the proper way to handle a hypodermic needles in order to maximize the user's high and avoid injury; "…and remember, bitches, only share your needle if the LOOK like they don't have anything.  Or if they really, really, really promise not to have anything."  But I digress.  As a support for this claim they cite her claims of having recently returned from India where she allegedly did aid work as well.  And by allegedly I mean she didn't do shit.  And she didn't do shit because she didn't go.  Oops.

How desperate are we for some sort of publicity to get our local youth population pumped up that our local papers are not only believing the delusional claims of a druggie pseudo-celebrity of wanting to do charity work in the area but that they don't even take the time to fact-check whether or not she just made the shit up to sound sympathetic?

14:29 – Ok, now that I'm done bashing on the newspapers here, lets bash on some Lohan.  Oh goodie!

Kid, get help.  She used to be such a beautiful girl, talented and full of potential.  Now she looks like Courtney Love.  And I still haven't been able to imagine an alternate universe where that would be a compliment.  And imagining alternate universes are my specialty.  *tear*

DAMMIT!  I thought I'd manage to do a Lindsay Lohan bashing but I couldn't manage it.  Alas, this is just a lament of what she used to be.  Here's to kids fucking up their careers being able to take a page out of the Barrymore book of how to unfuck their careers.

 

15:47 – I've got a pretty big problem concerning my story.  I don't know how to introduce the covert operations team.  I'm doing such massive rewrites on this thing that many of the characters seem like they're either obsolete or should never exist to begin with.

 

20091230

08:36 – YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE!!!???  The US teaching its kids that we live on two continents here on this side of the world, not one.  That we have North America (one continent) and South America (second continent).  You guys know how the rest of us in the world learn it?  AS ONE FUCKING CONTINENT!!!  There is one continent and the name is America, hence everyone's pissiness at people from the US calling themselves American.  Of course they're American, we all are.

US arrogance is not new, it's the reason they became such a super-power.  Their self confidence, their can-do attitude propelled them to the place they are now.  The problem, though, is that they used to be educated, they used to know all the things the rest of us in the world know.  Now, however, they don't even bother.  And they wonder why people around the world hate them.

So there, it's one continent and its name is America.  Oh, and while I'm on the subject, you kids might as well start converting to the metric system, I mean, even the fucking British, who invented your current system, have come around to the rest of the fucking world.

 

11:14 – Every time I watch one of the three Fast & Furious movies I get an uncontrollable impulse to drive fast and furiously.  And by furiously I mean recklessly.  I don't know why I can't control it, it just happens.  Despite their weak plotlines, subpar acting (I'm looking at you Paul Walker, not so much you, Vin Diesel considering I like most of your movies), and the stale and cliché dialogue I can't control myself.

By now you should be scratching your heads thinking, Did he say one of the THREE movies?  My answer is yes, I did say one of the THREE movies.  I refuse to count and/or consider 2 Fast & 2 Furious, or how I like to call it, Faster & Furiouser, part of the franchise.  I am completely convinced that Eva Mendes' sole purpose in acting should be limited to standing around and looking Latin, which, for some reason is the equivalent to super-hot in gringo.  I say this because her only good movies are Training Day, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and We Own the Night, and only because she's reduced to either lying in bed naked post getting plowed by Denzel Washington or secondary roles that were lifted by the likes of Johnny Depp and Joaquin Phoenix (as bat-shit crazy as he might be) and could have been performed by a chimp.  Did I just call Eva Mendes a chimp?  I leave that to you.

So yeah, here's a list of other Hispanic actresses with much better acting chops than Mendes that could easily replace her as a hot Latina on the screen:

• Paz Vega
• Penelope Cruz
• Silvia Navarro
• Martha Higareda
• Ana de la Reguera
• Salma Hayek
• Zoe Saldaña
• Alana de la Garza
• Michelle Rodriguez

And many, many more, because these are just the first ones I could think of.  So, yeah.

 

20091231

09:26 – New Years Eve Day.  Nothing else to write down so far.

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